


the pictures in his mind arose (and began to breathe)

by Sharpworksamurai



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Child Abuse, Dave Is Alive, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, M/M, Mental Health Issues, No Incest, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, aka klave, ben is tryin fam, disgusting, hes a psych student, i still dont know how ao3 works so subscribe, ill try to do as much resarch as i cn on mental health facilities, modern dave, schizophrenic klaus, so is klaus, the amount of incest in the TUA fandom is horrifying lol, theres more than 1 chapter, why do yall want to ship diego n klaus so badly when there is a canon gay non incest ship already
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-05-18 15:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19337440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharpworksamurai/pseuds/Sharpworksamurai
Summary: Grace opened the door, with a serene smile, tutting at the blood that streamed down Ben’s clothes. The children shuffled in and sat down. Ben smiled at Vanya, who shrunk back slightly in her seat, fingering the strap of her binoculars, before smiling back. They refrained from talking as Reginald hated hearing anything but a battle report, but the children still sent each other concerned glances and looks that sent the message.Ben leaned back, counting.One, Two, Three, Five, Six and Seven.Good.//Or in which Reginald saw Klaus a threat, rumoured him to believe that the ghosts are hallucinations and trapped him in a mental institution- until the day Ol' Reggie kicks the bucket.





	1. pilot (i want to be in unity)

Lights bombarded Ben Hargreeves’ eyes, and,as he tightened his way behind Luther’s confident shoulders, he tried not to let the burning behind his retinas deform his smile that Reginald had so carefully structured. The Umbrella Academy, aged thirteen, had successfully protected a priceless museum from an attack from the local gang, which the public had grown fearful of. But not the Academy- who were strong, invincible and godly in every way.

Luther was smiling and to an audience behind a screen, unfamiliar and strangers, it would have seemed comforting and joyous- but to Ben, it was cold and calculating, and then moments like these it would make sense how Luther could effortless break necks and stamp on bones without any remorse. Five’s elbow was digging painfully into his side, not defying their father who wanted them to be picture perfect. Allison was off to the side, cheering and waving to the reporters, offering them a bone, and Diego was giving quiet smirks as he fiddled with his knives behind his back.

Plastic- and yet, perfectly molded for Reginald’s purposes.

“Horror! Horror! Look over here!”

“Miss. Rumour! Is it true that you're going to be featuring in that advert?”

“Ahhhh! Judy, look! It’s the Kraken!”

“Mr. Spaceboy! Sir!”

Reginald cleared his throat, and suddenly the floods of sensory stimulation- the noise, the lights, hell, even the air- stopped.

“I would like to thank all the support that has been given to the Academy, Without you, you who need help, you who are hopeful and have faith in us, we would not be saving lives.” Reginald offered a small quirk of his lips, playing into this facade of an old, optimistic man.

They started shuffling towards the limousine that was awaiting around the corner at Reginald’s cold look. With every step, the blood in Ben’s shoes squelched against the floor, leaving bloody footprints. It would be funny, but it made his stomach churn and his mouth water slightly, as if he was going to vomit.

“Wait, Sir Reginald!”

Reginald paused, eyebrows quirking as he scrutinised a young reporter, who shrunk back but still held his microphone higher. He saw this as a chance to ask his question.

“Where is Vanya Hargreeves?”

 Reginald gave a smile, wide and with teeth bared, before replying coolly, “I’m afraid we have to keep her at home, far away from this danger that the other children are accustomed to. A normal girl in a family of the divine, is simply too dangerous.” He nodded, and then started walking back to the group of the child soldiers.

Grace opened the door, with a serene smile, tutting at the blood that streamed down Ben’s clothes. The children shuffled in and sat down. Ben smiled at Vanya, who shrunk back slightly in her seat, fingering the strap of her binoculars, before smiling back. They refrained from talking as Reginald hated hearing anything but a battle report, but the children still sent each other concerned glances and looks that sent the message.

Ben leaned back, counting.

One, Two, Three, Five, Six and Seven.

Good.

 

//

Despite the normalcy that surrounded Ben’s days. He still felt like something was amiss. A sense of chaos that was wrapped around a quiet fragility that only Ben saw. It was weird, but Ben did not speak out his concerns, and neither was he expected to.

(The Horror sang within him, mournful, but Ben received no answer when he asked, in the darkness of his room, what was wrong.)

 

//

 

A few days later, Five stormed out of dinner, leaving a trail of spite and a resentful determination. Ben wanted to follow him, so did Vanya seeing her concerned gaze, but restrained himself. An act of defiance was a hindrance to the Academy, and would not be tolerated in Reginald’s eyes.

Even  if it meant he was protecting his siblings.

And then, after a week, Five did not return and Ben mourned in a way the Horror was familiar with. Suddenly, everything was a lot quieter without his brother who was snarky and prideful in a way that made Ben look at him in awe. Desolate, cold- familiar.

Without knowing why, Ben began to grieve over that missing presence- the other one.

The nameless one.  

 

//

 

**3 YEARS AGO**

Four was crying, harsh and painful in the way that it racked his whole body and hacked his lungs as he heaved for air. His nails were chipped, blood running down his hands, and that insolent boy kept shuddering, banging his head against the tomb’s cracking wall. A blur of red stained the bricks, and Reginald felt his eye twitch.  

“You disobedient boy!” He sauntered forward and grabbed the boy’s wrist, hard, and held on even as the boy struggled with all his remaining might. He pulled the boy upright and dragged him out of the tomb, not caring that the boy started crying harder as his knees ripped.

“I give you everything in life! A house, siblings, food!” He smacked the boy, his rings breaking his porcelain skin, and Reginald watched as Four fell onto the ground.

“B-But!” Four sobbed out, pathetic as it got caught in his throat, “ I don’t care about that! I just- I just want to be a normal family.”

Reginald saw red, blinding and furious, and he reeled back as he spat on the boy. The spit landed on his cheek and the boy cowered.

“You are no use to me.You are better off dead, number Four.”

Reginald turned away, stomping to the car that Pogo had arranged. He tried to control his anger, but the fact that the boy, who had been blessed with such amazing powers dared to defy him in such a cowardly way, irritated him to no end. To be able to see the dead should entail so many new opportunities that not only benefited the world but, most importantly, to Reginald. But instead, the boy chose to hide, meek, and succumbed to the ghosts.

They are dead, Reginald decided, what harm could they do-

And then- pain.

 

//

 

**5 HRS LATER**

“Number Three, you know what to do. To do this protects you, your siblings, and the world. Remember this.”

“Yes, Father.”

“ I heard a rumour that the ghosts that you see are your own hallucinations. The ghosts, to you, are not real, and you think you are mentally ill.”

 

**5HOURS AND 45 MINS LATER**

 

 “I heard a rumour that you have no recollection of Klaus Hargreeves, known as the Seance and Number Four. He does not exist and never will.”

 

**5 HOURS AND 55 MINS LATER**

“Go on, Three.”

“Yes, Father.” Allison steeled herself, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She knew this was wrong, and thought she could easily evade this and yet- her father’s keen eyes and distant approval resonated within her.

“I heard a rumour that you forgot you rumoured your siblings.”


	2. why don't you cry? (fall apart, with every shard jagged)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enter five

Ben, now thirty, would say that his life was pretty normal ever since he left the Academy at nineteen, despite Reginald’s anger. Compared to Diego who was a vigilante at night and a failed cop during the morning or Alliso who was walking on red carpets after red carpets, working in the local bookshop was definitely more comfortable. Sure, the shop was a bit run down and he didn’t have enough money for proper heating in the shop, making it freezing during the colder seasons, but “BEN’S NOVELS AND COMICS” was a beloved in the community it resided in. The warm atmosphere, with serene customers and an old radio playing, was definitely better than the hell of the Academy.  

Vanya often visited the shop as it was between the theatre she practiced in and her small apartment. Coffee in hand and her violin case strapped across her back, her and Ben was close- especially after Five’s disappearance. 

(Ben tried not to think about Five too much or else he would fall into a spiral of anxiety and grief- a thing the Horror was accustomed to.) 

(Ben tried to ignore the horrible song the Horror whistled- of a strong melancholy that made Ben ache for something he doesn’t even know exists. Of kindness and anarchy and of _home._ As Ben aged, that feeling of not being complete made his body itch all over, contaminating every cell and every waking morning. He never told anyone- not even Vanya. What could they do?) 

Ben was sweeping the autumn leaves from the front of the shop when he spotted Vanya across the road. He waved, giving her a grin to which  she returned, and after she crossed the road, they both walked into the store. He turned over the “OPEN” sign to “CLOSED” and together they made their way upstairs to his apartment  as he and Vanya made amable conversation. 

“Hey! How was rehearsal?” Ben smiled, grabbing the coat she left perched on the chair and putting it on the coat peg. He offered to take her violin with a wave of his hand but she laughed and set it beside her, on the floor. 

“It was good! Helen was being kind of a bitch, but y’know. Not much I can do.” Vanya let out a laugh at Ben’s grimace. For as long as Ben could remember, a fellow violin player often targeted Vanya, bordering on bullying. Ben had wanted to get involved so many times, but Vanya always rolled her eyes, replying, “I only see her three times a week. What harm can she do?” 

“How was the shop today?” 

“Good, I guess. It was busy today, considering that new launch of those comics that got delivered in a few days ago,” Ben smiled and ran his finger across the rim of his mug of green tea, the thing that made his cramps loosen. 

“How are, uh, your powers working out?” 

Another surprise that Ben had not expected when he was younger- Vanya having powers. They showed up when after, a sleepover at Ben’s apartment right over the shop, Vanya had left her antidepressants under the kitchen sink. She couldn’t find them and after forgetting to ask Pogo for more, Ben was shocked when she came banging on his doorbell, hysterical, that all the lamps in her house were mangled, as if hit by an invisible energy. Vanya calmed down and Pogo had then revealed that Vanya had powers all along, something that he kept hidden from Reginald. After being taken off those horrible drugs, Vanya’s true personality shifted from being meek and constantly tired to more snarky and energetic. Once a week or so, Ben and Vanya practiced controlling her powers in the yard behind her apartment. 

Ben wasn’t sure how much his siblings knew about Vanyas’s powers. He knew that Diego was aware as he often stumbled onto their practice sessions when he needed patching up from a bullet that went astray. Luther was on the moon and Allison was with her luxurious family, in her luxurious mansion- living a luxurious life. Untouchable. 

Not that Ben minded- he knew that Luther and Allison would be very uncomfortable with that prospect- like their dominance would be challenged. 

“It’s going fine! I was able to pick up stuff recently- like really heavy stuff,” she let out a giggle, “Perfect for when you wake up at three am with the urge to rearrange your living room."

“Yeah.” Ben turned on the small tv in the corner of his living room table, following up with, “you staying for supper?” to which Vanya gave an enthusiastic nod. 

“Your food is to die for, of course I will!” Ben made his way into the kitchen upstairs, thinking about if he should make tuna pasta with garlic bread or lasagna when he heard Vanya’s gasp ad a cold voice crackle from the old tv, saying, 

“Reginald Hargreeves has reportedly passed away tonight from heart failure, according to the coroner's report. The nation is grieving because of this mews and his feats of excellence will never be forgotten as-”  

Ben looked at the tv, his mind entering a confused fog. He looked at Vanya who seemed equally as shocked.

 “Well, shit.”

 

//

Vanya hailed a taxi and stopped it in front of Ben’s apartment, giving the driver a patient look, and let her brother clamber in. He shut the door and leaned back, closing his eyes, listening to the sounds of Vanya playing a silly game on her phone. He closed the shop early that morning and it seemed that listless reluctance was reflected in the weather, with the rain that pelted onto him and he fog that steamed the windows of the old taxi. 

He pondered how the funeral would go. Maybe Vanya’s powers would be revealed? Luther, who was most likely back from the moon, would immediately demand for answers, violent and stoic the same way Reginald was, and Ben was definite that Diego and Luther would fight. Allison would be awkward- her attempt at disconnecting from the family was successful in many ways, both physically and emotionally. 

He supposed that between them all and Ben, there would be horrible small talk but Ben could bear with that. Chit chat, fake a smile here and there, maybe fake a tear at the eulogy of his father, and then go home.

(Home, the Horror clenched in his torso, I want home. Bring him back, bring warmth back)

The taxi stopped and Ben dissolved out of his thoughts. He gave Vanya a few dollar bills, shrugging off her “I’ll pay you back!” and wrapped his hands around his leather jacket. Ben looked at the mansion that loomed over him, the same one that trapped him, concealed him and yet exposed him, and haunted the only normalcy that was left in his life. 

(Home?)

Let’s see how this goes. 

 

//

 

Five is back. 

(Home? Not home)

He tumbled out of a whirlpool of blue and the same spite that he had when he left. It felt like a dream to Ben. Five, although still thirteen, seemed older- the way he held himself, the scowl on his face, it made him seem so guarded, secretive. What was he hiding?

His clothes were too baggy on him and the ends of his pants dragged against his shoes, Ben noticed, as he followed his family inside. Five had not said a word yet, or even a hug like Ben had dreamed of when he was younger, instead grumbling under his breath. 

Finally, they were seated, with Ben standing in the centre with Vanya, with Diego at his side. Ben kept a hand on Diego- but wasn’t sure for who, himself or his brother who was twitching with anger. He tried to make eye contact with Five, of his brother, the same one that abandoned his siblings in search of something greater, but Five glared into the grey walls as he blinked to get his utensils. 

A beat of silence and then- “Where were you?” 

“The future. It’s shit by the way.” Ben huffed out a small laugh through his nose, trying to maintain his composure. 

Luther leaned forward to interrogate further but Five cuts in with,“The world ends in eight days, and we need to stop it.” 

They talk more, questioning Five about his age and even a Delores, all of which is combated with snarky, secretive remarks. Ben would have liked to join but his mind was far away, as he tried to wrap around what was happening. The world was going to end? Five is 58? He knew Five wanted to seem strong, but all Ben could think of was little Five, engulfed in his own pride, crumbling as he was stuck in a barren land. Alone. For decades. 

Ben’s heart ached, and his skin itched more. 

 

//

 

Ben and Vanya were wandering around the mansion. He knew that their close bond was probably a bit strange to his other siblings, the ones who saw their coming of age as an opportunity to escape the Hargreeves line. But- even when they were younger, they were close. Just behind closed doors, playful kicks under the dinner table during stone silences, and playing with fairy lights in makeshift blanket forts when Reginald went abroad.

 

Vanya shoved Ben, and suddenly they were running through the corridors. They were free- even when Ben packed and moved miles away, there was always a loose noose around his neck, always present and always threatening. But now- no more Reginald breathing down their necks, no more tuts from Pogo, no more demands to be more than “Ben the bookshop owner”, to be the killer and the monster. 

 

Freedom has never tasted sweeter, Ben quickly learnt to accept. 

Howls of laughs emminated around the walls, bouncing of pictures of violence and paintings of Reginald’s greatness, as Ben tried to catch his sister. Eventually, they came to a halt when Ben grabbed his sister’s hoodie and pushed her to the ground. 

“See!” Ben panted, “I win!”

Grabbing the offered hand, Vanya heaved herself up and gave Ben a wink, “next time. Next time.” Ben jabbed at her side, before pausing when he saw the door of Reginald’s office door. The same one his siblings leant against, posed and smiling, just to get a simple smile and a “good night”. 

It never came, even until that bastard’s death. 

“C’mon. Let’s go.”

Vanya gave Ben a look that said “are you crazy? You fool.”

“Nah, this is the perfect chance to raid that old man’s office. Who knows maybe we could pawn off a few things here and there,” She opened the door, and even then Ben noticed how her fingers were tense. All these years, his sister was lied to and so polluted with drugs that she became a shell of an organism. Ben knew that this should have been reason enough to wrack heaven, but his sweet sister just shrugged, “it’s not going to reverse time. He’ll just rope me into his experiments.”

(Like, the Horror replied to itself and then paused, like who?)

When the door opened,it was exactly like in Ben’s memories. Cold and dark, despite the massive window. Hollow and ragged, despite the golden ornates and trophies. Alone, bitter. It seemed that the old bastard spread misery, even into his humble abode. Ben mused. 

Vanya and Ben started raiding Reginald’s draws. He should feel guilty, but apart from financially funding Ben (as a means of persuasion to come back to the Academy) for a few months after he left, Reginald hadn’t offered much. Nothing human. Nothing resembling anything close to home or family.  

By the window, Vanya opened all the glass cupboards, fingers running over trophies and framed newspapers. Smirking, Ben did the same with the draw underneath Reginald’s desk. He pushed papers around, mindlessly, before the corner of his hand hit a box. 

He paused. Vanya came over, leaning over Ben, as he scrambled to open the pearl box. It was shut tight, but eventually it opened and he tipped it over. 

More papers. How many papers did this bastard need?

Ben caught a bright red book in the corner of his eye, and he reached forward. The cover was rigid, tight, and the paper was wrinkly. Ben opened it and his breath caught at the first word that was scrawled in a careless handwriting. 

(Ben pitched forward, his breath catching in his throat, caged. The Horror groaned, tightening, waiting, waiting and then finally-)

“Number Four.” 

And then in tiny brackets next to it, as if like in after thought, it read, “Klaus Hargreeves.”

Ben’s world stopped turning.


	3. hush, hush (tell me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secrets r revealed and ben tries to wrap his head around his new brother

Four. 

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven. 

_ Klaus.  _

Within him, the Horror shrieked that name over and over, overflowing with happiness.The sound of that same kindness, that same anarchy, the same home that the Horror and Ben both collectively cried over was now named.It squirmed within Ben’s chest, elated and yet so  _ angry.  _ How dare Reginald do this? Ben didn’t even know his own brother’s face nor voice. He could imagine that his laugh might have been high pitched with hysterical giggles and his missing brother’s eyes might have creased at the corners when he smiled or cried. Maybe his missing brother was tall, or short, maybe he was pessimistic like Five or optimistic like Vanya. Maybe this number was apparently vulnerable like Vanya used to be, or maybe he was strong- still in the face of a hurricane, only mourning over the debris when the sun rose up. 

All these years- all these moments of grief and turmoil and questions of “am I going crazy?” were left blanked only to be scrawled with one word:  _ Klaus Hargreeves _ .

Ben didn’t know he was crying, mouth shuddering until Vanya drew him into her arms. He leaned against her, the page with Klaus on it scrunched up in his hand. His skin crawled, the Horror wanted to be unleashed, to wrack hell on Reginald, and on Pogo and every single person in this world.

“Klaus,” Ben cried, tears streaming, chanting in his head,  _ it’s him, it’s him, it’s him. _

Vanya shushed him and as her arms tightened around her grieving brother, the door slammed open, making Ben flinch. Luther stormed in, yelling, braving about how Reginald’s office would be to be respected and to leave immediately, but he paused when Vanya waved around the book that had fallen from Ben’s grasp. 

Luther frowned, disregarding his broken brother as he demanded, “Put that down.”

Vanya frowned, teeth bared into a snarling smile as she asked, “Did you know we have a brother?” 

 

//

 

By the time Ben became numb, the Horror exhausted, the Academy was seated around the living room table. 

Allison was sitting next to Luther, a hand on his arm in an attempt to rein in his violent curiosity. Five was scowling deep and Vanya sat with a contained look, the red book balanced in her hand.  On the other hand, Diego was pacing around the kitchen table, fingering his knives as he demanded, “So tell me again, we have a brother? A brother that dear old dad kept secret?”

Ben nodded, adamant to find his brother and get him to safety, “His name is Klaus. Number Four.” In the corner of his eye, Ben saw Allison swallow harshly, eyes down cast. Luther grunted, banging his fist on his table. 

“Well,”he sniped, “He must have been dangerous or something if Dad went as far as to make him seem dead.”

 Ben kept a growl in his throat as he said, suddenly angry, “That is our brother. The brother that none of us knew about. How dare you speak about him in this way?” Luther leaned back, taken aback at his brother’s cold tone. Vanya squeezed his arm and Five leaned over to grab the red book. 

He flipped the front page over, reading out loud, “Number Four. The boy has the divine powers of seeing the dead.” 

“The dead?,” Ben breathed out and Diego fell silent in his pacing. 

Five nodded and all attention fell on him as he continued reading, “Unfortunately, the boy is very wary of the ghosts, seemingly having a fear of the ghosts. He reports repeatedly that they are mangled, bloody beings, constantly screaming and begging Four to help.” Ben fell his eyes well up with tears. His brother, young and naive, and the first image that he embraced was not a warm smile of a mother but instead a corpse. 

“As of now, I have tried to place him in the local graveyard, but the boy is so adamant in his fear that he dislocated his shoulder in an attempt to leave the gates of the graveyard. Additionally, I have also chained him to a mausoleum, but the boy has fits of panic, leading to multiple injuries which hinder the Academy when missions and training arose.” 

“Grace (page 48), programmed to diagnose illnesses and injuries, has diagnosed Four with PTSD. At age 10, he is expected to conform to my desires and will of his powers and yet he rebels at any training or opportunity to wield his powers.” Vanya’s breath hitched and Ben knew she was thinking about her own depression, the listless days, the melancholy and the constant apathy, but imagining that on a ten year old?

(Unforgivable, the Horror hissed.) 

Five paused, flipping the book. He let out a sound and Ben asked, “What?” 

“These next few pages. They’re ripped out.” Ben leaned over Vanya’s arm and sure enough, the paper was jagged and  torn, but when Ben squinted, he saw drops of blood on what was left of the page. 

“Carry on reading then.” 

Five flipped the pages that were ripped and read, “ The boy is dangerous;the devil incarnate. He needs to be contained as I fear for the safety of the Academy and the world if he is left unleashed. Therefore, I have employed the abilities of Number Three (page 35) to inhibit the powers of Four. Thus concludes my research with this boy.” 

Ben stood up, storming towards Allison. “What? You fucking rumoured our brother- Klaus- and never told us about him? How dare you? You bitch! You absolute fucking bitch-” He would have slapped her, consumed with anger that Ben wasn’t sure came from him or the Horror, but Luther grabbed his arm and pushed him to the ground. Allison was shrunk back as she cried but Ben didn’t care- she ruined Ben’s life (just like she ruined Claire’s and her own.) 

Diego grabbed Ben’s arm, but yelped when the Horror started emerging from Ben’s chest. Ben was so overcome with fury he wanted to burn the Academy to the ground. Burn everything down until smoke was all he could see, find Klaus and run away together. Keep him protected and safe, the Horror decided, I’ll do it. 

The tentacles slithered forward dodging Luther’s attempt at restraining him and made their way to Allison. And as she cowered back, still crying, Ben felt no remorse. “What have you done?” he yelled at her, “What have you done?” Ben wanted to crush her throat and throw into the fire the Horror promised him. All these years of emotional torment built up and up and- 

And then he remembered that feeling of safety that accompanied the pit in his heart, and thoughts of distant smiles and laughs and an occasional tear. Ben thought of Klaus, Klaus who needed help and was probably caged to Reignald’s dark secret. 

He thought of home and instantly the Horror unwinded and calmed down. 

Ben turned on his heel, about to go raid Reginald’s drawer again for more information, when he bumped into Pogo, who was listening to everything they were saying. He grabbed Pogo’s shoulders, sure that the ape knew everything considering his loyalty to his father. 

“Where is he?” 

Pogo swallowed thickly and looked down, “I’m- I am afraid I cannot say, Master Ben.” 

Ben took in a breath, trying to rein in his irritation when Diego stood up and put his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Listen Pogo, “ his brother said in a hard tone, “that is our brother and we aren’t going to abandon him like Reginald did to us. Please, help us become a family again.” 

Pogo nodded, slow as if he were underwater. 

“He’s in the Coundan Mental facility. He has been for the past seventeen years”


	4. wait! a! minute!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they meet. somewhat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentioned sh and suicide attempts (like half a sentence) and casual discussion suicide and death 
> 
> thanks to CrashBagPotato , who helped me alot w how facilities are! i tried to get the same comradeship and boredom they talked about in our dms :D

Ben stood in front of the facility, Diego and Vanya by his sides. For a moment they just watched the environment, maybe too daunted or maybe to excited- Ben wasn’t quite sure yet. The building was big with white bricks and cloudy windows. The grass out front, although locked off with a surrounding gate, was rich in colour, a few patients loitering about. Despite its simplicity, the facility seemed quite neglected; the paint on the gates was cracking off, some parts of the building was turning grey and the patients seemed thin- whether from their own mental illness or from rationing food. It seemed okay, nothing like the horror story facilities Ben had searched up on the silent ride to Coundan. Still, Ben swallowed. His brother stayed here for over a decade, isolated and probably not even allowed off the property grounds. 

(He’s here, the Horror sang, happy for the first time in years.) 

Diego huffed and started the trek to the facility, carelessly locking his car with a press of a button. At ease and rational, unlike the frenzied  state Vanya was in. She swallowed, Ben saw, and behind him a tree scratched the hood of Diego’s car with a gust of wind that wasn’t possible on this dry day. Grabbing his arm, together Ben and Vanya caught up to Diego an before they knew it they were in the reception. 

The receptionist looked up, maybe in the early 20s, ending her phone call with a sweet, “thanks for calling!”, and said, “Hi, how may I help you?” 

Ben gave her a smile in return and said confidently as he could manage, “We’re here to see my brother.”

“I see. What’s his name?” 

“Klaus Hargreeves.” 

She looked up, swift and too fast to be not suspicious. She nodded sharp, too sharp, and said in a high voice, “Pardon me. I need to speak to someone.”

Watching her leave after she fiddled with her computer screen, Diego huffed again.  “So, how are we going to break him out?” 

“Eh?” Vanya blinked. 

“You heard me, there’s no way someone could walk that fast just to get a cup of tea.It’s obvious that Reginald put some kind of lock or something on Four and now she’s either gone to security or to someone higher in position. Great- thanks a lot Reginald.”

Ben gulped, he hasn’t used the Horror as a means of self defence in so long and he definitely didn’t want to start now, especially in a place full of vulnerable people. Vanya, it seemed, was thinking along similar lines as she said, “Just wait, Diego. Reginald is dead, they have to take that into account.”

 

//

 

Klaus groaned, throwing his cards onto the table. He threw his arms up against the sofa that was bolted down and curled his body inwards, almost like a reflex. 

“That’s not fair! You cheated!” 

On the other end of the table, Clara cackled,her thin body shuddering with the force of it. She sprawled herself onto the table, saying, “Is it cheating if you glanced away and I.. improvised?” 

“It is! It is! Dave says so,” Klaus humphed, turning away from Clara. He tried to ignore the shadow in the corner of his eye, counting down to ten and then counting the scars of his arms in an attempt to ground himself to reality. Maybe Clara saw his wavering eyes when she said, teasingly and coming over to sling an arm across the back of the sofa, 

“Davey, boy? What else has he been saying?” She made kissy faces, and Klaus blushed. Across the room, Bill laughed. 

Dave was his counsellor, some sort of part time therapist on the way to his doctorate. He was nice and treated him like a human being, unlike Dr Willow, who always seemed to “hmm” and “uh huh tell me more about your sick delusions and how much you want to die?” instead of appreciating his collection of depressing jokes, a collection that seemed to be growing as the years went on. Everyone in the facility knew that Klaus was the oldest resident, even though Klaus himself wasn’t sure how old he was. Time seemed to be a morbid concept when you’ve lived through puberty in white walls and white scrubs. 

Now, Dave, on the other hand, at least had the gall to laugh at his jokes and the new gossip on Karen the Nurse and Dr Jones who seemed far too friendly to be just co-workers. He was like warm honey on Klaus’ bitter and estranged tongue. He had a nice smile, nice eyes, nice hands, what did he have that wasn’t nice? Dave helped Klaus when he was having a panic attack or another psychotic episode (the most recent one was when Klaus thought he was a superhero, he was in therapy and on so many drugs for so long, it was such a drag). 

Once, Klaus remembered fondly, he saw a beheaded corpse in the canteen, bleeding into the mashed potatoes. Klaus had screamed so loudly, making his friends scramble back, and instantly he felt darkness, he felt a cold voice telling him how he was better off and dear God, was that a dismembered girl? Still in the midst of a panic attack, one of the Nurses had restrained him and tried to push a needle into his neck but Dave had pushed her off and made Klaus calm down. Since that day, Dave was always his hero, maybe a friend, maybe just a counsellor, maybe something more- he wasn’t quite sure,Klaus was so drugged up on some days, he didn’t even know up from down. Rule of Coundan was- well, get Dave more often than not. 

“OOO! Spooks blushing you guys!” 

“N-no I’m not!” His friends started grinning as much as they could in a cold place like this, before Angel groaned. 

“I’m bored.” 

“Same.” 

_ (“I’m afraid we just can’t-”  _

_ “What do you mean? Our father is dead, the guardianship of our brother, and therefore the consent to take him away falls on our hands.”)  _

“Same.” 

“Same.” 

“Ugh, I’m so bored, I could die.” 

“Who doesn’t?” Klaus snickered behind a still trembling hand, reminding himself to count the pills he took next time he had them, “Bam!” Klaus jumped up, miming a gun.

_ (“No- I just-”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “He can be.. Dangerous. To himself, to other people.”)  _

_ “Our father is dead. Let us at least visit our brother. Please.”) _

”Bam!” He pointed to Angel, who fell back, moaning ridiculously. 

“Bam!” Bill next, he fell down from his chair with a short cry of, “I will be back for revenge!”

_ (“Okay. Follow me”)  _

The world turned into a blur, of maniac giggles and pathetic posters of positivity on the walls. He danced around, dodging Clara who tried to jump on him (quietly to not warn the nurses that would be on patrol at any minute). He could hear soft giggles still resonating in his mind, echoing from somewhere he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

Klaus heard Clara telling Angel and Bill that the head doctor was coming and to quieten down, but Klaus- Klaus was stuck in his own little world, a world he wanted and only got sometimes. Of a manic energy that burst out of nowhere, ones where he  _ remembered.  _ Remembered a big house, an ape, a robot and- and a  _ family.  _

The world fell silent, holding its breath, and so Klaus fell still. He stood, hands still molded into a gun, and opened his eyes. 

Klaus let out one last, “bam,” before he saw faces he thought he would never see again, faces he saw when he was too drugged up or when he was in the midst of an episode that only Dave could calm him out of. 

Klaus saw the faces from his past and he decided to scream. 

 


	5. bitter biscuits (served with sour milk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus and the siblings talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw ; panic attack

Ben followed the doctor (Dr. Marcus? He wasn't paying attention) through the corridors of Coundan to go to the visitor room. Inside the facility, it wasn't that bad. It was a bit small, secluded in location and environment alike as if it was trying to stay secret, with too many white walls, that made Ben's eyeballs itch. He's only spent a few minutes wandering the vast corridors and already he feels like he is being speculated, judged and contained. Patients who were wandering the halls, or peeking in through the cracks of their doors were also wearing scrubs, discoloured and grey. They gave him and his siblings odd locks, confused, but Ben harried on. He tried not to pay attention to the patients too much or else the Horror will come out of its patient state.

They walked past a series of rooms with large open windows, allowing nurses and doctors alike to monitor the patients, Ben had to guess. Just like the outside, the walls were did interesting but it had colour from old furniture. Though, Ben noticed that a lot of the furniture was bolted down and the tables had cards and stumped crayons sprawled across from it. Child-like in a way that made Ben sympathise with the patients.

They walked in silence before Diego asked,

"Is it possible that we can take Klaus home?"

Dr Marcus pursed his lips before saying carefully, "I want to say no, this goes against all regulations considering how hostile Klaus can be," Ben winced ,hearing that.

"However, the boy...I've known of him for a very long time. I'm not close to him though we gave talked a few times. He's been in here far too long, sane or not sane. Over a decade, I recall."

Finally, after a long silence, the doctor shrugged, "Maybe."

Ben grimaced internally. He really wanted his brother back, wanted to erase every single miserable legacy of Reginald's reign. But would Ben go as far as to break his brother out?

(Yes, the Horror hissed)

Whilst Dr Marcus was talking to Diego and Vanya, who prodded him with questions about the facility, Ben paused to look inside a window. The door was open.

The room was disorganised but what caught his attention was the three patients that were trying to stop another man who was twirling around recklessly. The girl with bright pink hair kept giving Ben desperate looks as she tried to say, "dude stop it! Dr Marcus is around here!" But the man was giggling to himself, missing sofas and chairs as he carefully stepped, his every movement fluid. Finally the man paused, his few giggles dying down. He opened his eyes, eyes that met Ben's.

The man whispered a quiet "bam," before he jolted back, screaming.

It was loud and the high pitched resonation of terror echoed in Ben's ears. He clamped his hands over his ears, the Horror hissing inside of him more, and he didn't mind when Dr Marcus shoved past him. The man yelped back from the doctors touch, sobbing.

His friends tried to comfort him, begging him to calm down. The man squirmed on the ground, legs kicking out and his nails dug into the crevice between his ears and scalp, leaving bloody crescents. He cried so loudly, with so much pain, that even beside him, Vanya whimpered. After being swatted at multiple times, the doctor stepped back, and said into his walkie talkie, "Get Dave, Yes, its him again."

Shortly after, a man came bustling in with nurses, one of whom escorted the Hargreeves away. The counsellor was tall, body compact and with curly hair. He gave the siblings a confused look before murmuring to the man on the floor, who was still screeching.

As they were lead away by another nurse, who was ensuring them that this rarely happened, Ben heard the fading words of, "Klaus, listen to me. Its Dave, see that's it. Deep breaths."

(Klaus. That was Klaus. Ben should be disappointed or disgusted, but he only felt the mass of pity settling on his shoulders.)

(It happened so fast that when Ben looked back on that encounter, be didn't even know what the man looked like.)

//

After two hours or so, the Hargreeves siblings were still seated in the visitation room. It had a table and a sofa, both from across each other, and both bolted. There were a few magazines o. the table and a house plant in the corner, but it still had an air of dread. He hoped Klaus liked him, maybe even remember him if Allison's rumour had failed somehow. Diego's leg was shaking, up and down, and Vanya laid a firm hand on it. He shot her a look before grumbling and picking up a magazine.

The nurse had kindly offered tea and biscuits but Ben's hands were shaking too much to even hold the cup without dropping it.

The door opened and Ben jolted back, nerves settling in further. The same man from before, Dave?, was there and he gave them a gentle smile. He whispered something over his shoulder, body calm which was a drastic change from his collected manner in the play areas. Dave nodded and then said,

"This is Klaus. Be kind to him, ya hear me?" Vanya smiled, shuffling back. Eventually, after gentle prods from Dave, Klaus came.

 _Klaus_.

KLAUS.

Here in front of Ben, a brother, a sibling, family that he wasn't even aware of. His breath hitched as he took in his brother. He (Klaus, it felt weird saying his name, foreign on his tongue) was lanky. His body was spindly and he seemed to curl in on himself naturally as if to protect himself, his arms looped in front his rib cage. The scrubs dangled off his frame and Ben noticed how he was shoeless.

His brother's hair was messy, cut short and buzzed in some places as if he had a bad habit of yanking on it. Slowly, second by second, Ben's eyes trailed down to his face. His cheekbones were hollow, creating a dark shadow, and his face had a sickly pallor to it. He had facial hair, only slightly though, that frames long and cracked lips.

His eye's made the Horror screech within Ben. They were amber, a hazy shade of a tinted green, framed around long eyelashes. Despite its pretty colour, Ben noticed, they seemed dazed, clouded over as his brother blinked slowly. They had something dark in them, something untold, and it made Ben's insides twist. He had prominent eyebags, black against his pale skin.

Sickly, weak and so foreign.

(I'll rip Reginald's corpse limb from limb, the Horror snarled out, churning.)

"Do you want me to stay?" Dave said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Klaus looked around for a moment, eyes trailing his feet, the window and then settling on the biscuits, like a child. He shook his head and Dave left.

Klaus clambered into the sofa, legs first, and finally curled around himself. It would have seemed awkward because Klaus was balanced on the small of his back, but he seemed comfortable.

So far, none of the Hargreeves had said a word.

"Hi," Vanya started, giving a calm smile, "I'm Vanya. Do you..Do you remember me?"

Klaus munched on a biscuit, dazed eyes still glancing out the window, before snapping back to attention. He shook his head again and didn't see how Vanya wilted.

"I'm Diego." No response either.

"Hey, Klaus," Ben leaned forward, cupping his brother's knee, "I'm Ben. We.. we're your siblings."

Klaus paused in his munching, glancing up. "Family? Mine? Really?" He smiled, maniac and set his biscuit down. His body shook under Ben's hand.

Klaus waved a hand, "I think..I think I remember. Maybe. Sometimes," He paused, looking out the window again as if someone was calling his attention, "Depends on how drugged up I am."

Ben flinched, and Diego winced beside him.

"We want to take you home."

"Home?"

Klaus' eyes turned to pinpricks and suddenly an eerie feeling washed across Ben. It felt like Klaus switched moods so quickly from foggy, to talkative, to something akin to stone.

Diego nodded, "Yeah, home. We have more family back home you know? We have Luther and Allison and Five still yet to introduce," He gave a shallow smile and Klaus leaned back From Ben's hand, entwining his arms around his knees.

Klaus nodded again. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ben asked, almost impatiently,

"So do you? Want to come home with us?"

Klaus contemplated the offer for a few minutes before replying with a simple, "No."

"What? Why?"

"I've been.. Here, wherever here is, for forever. Its..its my home now. I have friends here and..I dont want to leave Dave for a bunch of strangers."

Ben swallowed before saying, "We can ask Dave to come over some times you know? I'm sure he won't mind," he chose not to comment on Klaus' attachment to the counsellor.

Adamant, Klaus shook.his head again, speaking a tad more quietly, "They.. The nurses say how dangerous I am, how I need to be under constant supervision. They.. They hound me down sometimes, but they're right. The things I've done to myself.. And to others, " Klaus swallowed harshly and moved to the other side of the couch. His head hung low as if ashamed.

"I'm sorry."

"We have- our mom's a doctor, kinda. She can help you! And even though you dont know him, my younger Brother-Five- he knows a bit about medicine as well. We can help!" Ben started to become desperate as he rambled.

"Klaus, you've been here for over a decade," he saw Klaus' shocked look, "Come outside with us, please. Experience life and real food and just- real people, who won't treat you like a patient. But like a person."

Ben said quietly, "Come back to us, Klaus."

Klaus' frame shook a bit and Ben was worried he would have another fit again. After a beat, Klaus whispered into the tense silence.

"I-I'll think about it."

For some reason, even though Klaus hadn't agreed yet, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of Ben's shoulders, a great, unimaginable mass.


	6. the louvre  (watch the bombs drop)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus worries and Diego is grumpy (as usual)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typed this on my phone so excuse any typos ueu

When Klaus is wandered back into his room in the psychiatric ward and had his mouth checked by nurse Karen (four pills, he counted with his tongue), he laid in his rackety bed and thought about his family.

Family.

The sound echoed in his mind, lost and dull- meaningless. He didn't know if he should care. Klaus knew that Edith in the eating disorder unit cried in the showers about her family and he knew that, when asked about his parents, Nathan had a fit like no other. Obviously, they cared, but why?

Klaus had been alone all his life - alone now if you considered Dave an outsider. He didn't mind the silence (or the shrieking, depending on the day).Klaus didn't mind how he couldn't remember the warm touch of a mother or advise from his father. He couldn't remember playing with his siblings- and honestly he didn't care.

As long as he had Dave and his other friends in the psych unit, Klaus was fine.

Alive, breathing, well fed and moderately taken care of well enough.

(are you sure? you sure? You sure?)  
"Knock, knock."

Klaus rumbled out of his musings and cracked a smile. "It only works if you actually knock, you know?"

Dave opened the door and gave Klaus a fond smile, before asking, "can I come in?" To which he complied when seeing Klaus' enthusiastic nod and how he shuffled back on his bed.

Dave never assumed that he was above Klaus in anyway; neither did he meander around Klaus as if he had a disease.

(Look at this blood! Look! Look!-)

One could say Klaus, aloof and yet secretive, had a soft spot for him.

"So whats this I've been hearing from Janet that you're leaving?" Dave didn't sound angry but Klaus still stared at his hands.

"Yeah, uhm. Apparently I have siblings and they want me back."

Dave nodded, "So you going?"

"What? Of course not."

Frowning, Dave said, " You should. Go, I mean. It would be good for you."

Klaus scowled, Dave should be on his side not theres. "Why should I? I don't even know them. For all I know, they could be freaks." No more than me though, went unsaid.

Dave sensed that and leaned forward. He grabbed Klaus hands that were fidgeting with the hem line of the pathetic excuse of a blanket. "Listen. You've been here too long. You haven't ever been to a park or eaten ice cream-"

"Well-"

"The canteen ice creams on Friday don't count. They're disgusting and you know it." Dave grinned but still didn't lement.

"You haven't even seen a dog, for gods sake! Klaus, how can I make you stay here and wither away? If I held you back, I would never forgive myself."

Klaus still school his head, side to side. "They said I'm too dangerous  
Ben or whatever said they have a nurse as a mom, but still. What if I hurt them? I don't even know them and I already feel guilty!"

Dave huffed, "We can try a trial period? Maybe we can do a week there with your family and you can come back for a few days. You know what happens if you don't take your medicine" the panic attacks, hallucinations, and the self harm he was referring to.

Klaus curled up in his bed, shoving a pillow on his forehead, "I don't want- I don't want to leave you. What if- What if they come for you? What if you join them? I need to be there to protect you, Dave." His palms started sweating and Klaus could feel eyes on him, human and monstrous, ready to devour when Dave left.

(I'm going to kill you, kill, kill, kill-)

"Klaus, remember your hallucinations aren't real, they can't hurt you." Dave swallowed, "I can always visit you. I don't mind leaving Cindy with the neighbours for a few hours," He was talking about his cat.

Still, Klaus didn't say anything. He fisted his hand on his blanket and just glared at the ceiling, trying not to pay attention to the misty hands in the corner of his eyes. Dave seemed to sense this ongoing silence and sighed.

"I'll let you think about it, Klaus."

Dave got up and was a step away from the door before he paused. "You're as human as everyone else Klaus. Don't isolate yourself just because you're different."

And so, he left. And so, despite the number of pills he took, (one, two, three, four), the shadows formed into figures and spat spittle into his face.

He swallowed his screams and turned over.

Maybe, Klaus repeated in his head, just maybe this might turn out right.

//

Diego paced in front of Coundan. He was expected to get Klaus (his brother, brother, brother- no matter how many times he said his name, it sounded so strange to Diego) and to help him get home.

That morning Ben was elated yo get that phone call that he'd been pacing in his room all night for (the next morning he came down with red eyes, and Diego knew). Apparently, Klaus had agreed to come, with the conditions of seeing Dave and having access to Coundan at any time.

Needless to say, the house was in uproar. Ben had to close down his shop early, and usually he was a bit irritated by that, but today he was so delighted that one could even say that he walked with a skip in his step. Vanya couldn't come with Diego because she had an audition, one which Ben had promised her weeks before that he'd attend as emotional support.

Luther, when told about what Klaus was like, had smiled but was still a bit tense. Dad had to be right about taking him away from us, he kept on insisting but didn't try to lock him up again. Allison was in a flurry, under Ben's laser eyes, trying to get the house orderly.

(The weirdest thing happened when Allison was trying to find a suitable room for Klaus, a room not too far away from the siblings but not too suffocating. She encountered a room that seemingly was erased from her and the Academy's minds. It was boarded up with wood and had a lock on it, and Luther and Diego both had to break it open. When opened, the room was caked with dust and dirt, but there was a bed, a desk and a wardrobe. Diego had walked up to the wardrobe and opened it, finding the academy's uniform but smaller. It was true then and after that, Luther's complaints ebbed away slightly.)

Finally, he saw Klaus and that counsellor walking towards him. The counsellor had a hand on Klaus' shoulder, who looked miserable and yet excited, if possible through how he gazed around the area as of he'd never gone past the facility gates. They reached where Diego was parked and Diego asked,

"No suitcase?" Klaus shook his head and that was that it seemed. Diego nodded to himself then, remembering Ben's "dont make it awkward, Diego", in the back of his mind. He opened a door for Klaus and walked to the other side of the car to give them some privacy.  
  
Klaus and Dave murmered some words to each other and after a quick hug, Klaus sat in the car, body awkward and timid. Dave helped pull a seatbelt across his body and closed the door with a gentle thud.

"Wait!" Dave gave Diego a bag that he hadn't noticed he had when they were walking down the twist road to the carpark. He sneaked a glance in the bag and nearly jolted back with shock. It was filled with pills, all different sizes with different dosages. His brother had to take so many? Diego felt doubt settle in, quiet like a snake.

"I, uhm, put in a note in for what to take and when. I put in my work number in the facility if something happened and you need me." Diego nodded and went to open his car door when Dave grabbed his arm.

"I can still- I can still see him right?" Diego looked into his blue eyes and instantly saw what Klaus saw. Dave had creases under them as if he had stayed up all night, like Ben, pacing. They were dark with nerves, and frantic in the way they tried to search Diego's face for an answer.

He was the companion Klaus needed to get though his- well, his life. Something akin to affection, maybe more, clambered into Dave's face and he made no attempt to hide it.

He was proud of Klaus, proud in the way no one else had. Not from Reginald, not from the Academy or the world, not even from Klaus himself.

After a best, Diego nodded,sincere. That was all Dave needed before he stepped away, giving Klaus one last smile through the windows.

Klaus scrambled around in his seat, not moving until Coundan and Dave had faded away from sight. Even then, he sat in that timid position, as if scared of Diego's gruff exterior.

They sat in silence. It was awkward, the car's old machinery filling quiet. Diego put on the radio and watched, bit by bit, as Klaus relaxed in his scrubs.

(His brother didn't even have any clothes. Diego felt resentment build up in his stomach, and understood now the fierce protective nature that Ben had)

Klaus was pressed up against the window, still not saying anything. He gazed in fascination at the sheep that they passed occasionally (Coundan really was that remote), and gaped at the horses that chewed on the grass. Klaus wiggled in his seat, attention grabbed by something as simple as a highway that went past a farm.

Naive or innocent? Diego couldn't decide.

They were slowly approaching civilisation, Diego noticed when he saw his city's name on a board attached to a round about. Diego swallowed thickly and bit the bullet,

"You ever have ice cream?"


	7. organisation (and classification )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus tries to grasp his thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typed this on my phone again so excuse typos

Klaus and Diego sat under an oak tree they found in the park, ice creams in hand. Klaus, after taking so long to choose, decided to go with mint chocolate, fascinated by the bright green colour that wasn't there in the facility. The city was a bombardment of colour, vivid and varied, of sound, loud yells and quiet whispers, and of people- people who weren't crying in corridors, or restrained to beds after nearly attacking a nurse, or looking so dead inside. Just normal people, doing normal things and working normal jobs.

(you're alone, alone, you don't belong. look, that guy's staring at you. he knows how much of a freak you are-)

The oak tree had instantly captivated Klaus' dazed eyes. It was large, and strong, towering over Klaus with an easy force that he usually saw in security guards after he tried to scratch a counsellor's face off. It echoed sweet lullabies, soothing and a contrast to the screeches of his hallucinations.

(I'll protect you, safe and at ease, child)

"What's wrong?" Klaus jolted at Diego's voice and shrugged.

"The tree."

"Oh." They continued to sit in silence as Klaus bit into his ice cream. It was cold- colder than the lukewarm, half melting state of the ice cream served in the canteen in Coundan. The rich flavour melted on his tongue, coating every taste bud and Klaus moaned, continuing to bite into it more violently. He could feel Diego's eyes on him, but Klaus had never had anything so tasty, no matter how cheap it was. (Klaus still didn't have any concept of money but still gave Diego an abashed quirk of his lips when he gave the money to the cashier)

"You like it?" Diego still hadn't tasted his chocolate ice cream get, choosing to study his brother.

"Yeah!" Klaus nodded ferociously, head bobbing in a way that made his neck creak, "It's so nice! Back there, we only get ice cream on Friday but it's so horrible. We only get, uh, vanilla but it's always stale."

"Ah." Diego finally chewed at the cone of his ice cream, "Do you have many friends there?"

Klaus pondered that for a bit, feeling aloof. Before he sat in Diego's car, he had an extra dose of his medication, just to be safe. It would've sucked if he started screaming out of no where and if Diego swerved into a pole or something. With every word and thought, Klaus could feel himself disentangling, loosening and starting to daze out.

Maybe Diego saw slow Klaus was feeling because he didn't badger him for a response.

"Hmm, yeah I suppose. My best friend is Clara, she's in the eating disorder unit- she has been for a while I guess." Klaus stopped for a while, fixated on a dog he saw that was running.

He continued, slowly, "And then Bill and Angel- I can't remember what they were done for. Something to do with arson."

Diego seemed to sense that he was done with his response, and be jolted back into another question, "do you like it there?"

Klaus thought on it for a while, the remaining ice cream dripping between his fingers but he made no move to clean it. Eventually, the green slowly dribbled into his scrubs.

Ruined, he thought, Janet will be mad.

"Yeah. It's the only place I have. Some of the nurses can be a bit mean sometimes but most of them are really nice. Like, once I had an anxiety attack and one of the nursed tackled me to the ground. I really hurt my head and I told Dave, and he was so mad, " Klaus giggled. He didn't mention to Diego how, before that nurse tackled him, he was going to smash his head against the wall or how he was triggered by the shade of red lipstick the nurse was wearing.

"Do you like your family?" Klaus asked instead. He chewed on his fingernails, biting the skin around it. He stared at a dog that had stopped to give back the owner its ball, who gave the dog a large smile.

(Where am I? Dave?)

Diego leaned forward, biting the last remaining part of his cone, "Yeah, you can say that. Ben's super sweet, he can be super quiet so you have to,like, prod him a bit, if you want a straight answer," Diego huffed out a laugh.

"Allison is like cool I guess. She's a movie star so you might have seen her," at Klaus' blank look, he continued, "Luther can be a bit of a dick. So is Five to be honest, he hasn't been around for a while but he's still the same. Vanya's really cool as well, she's good at playing the violin."

(Who are they?)

"Violin?"

Diego mimed out a violin on his shoulder and playing it with a bow. Klaus still gave a blank look. He might have seen it on a magazine somewhere, but that seemed highly unlikely, especially now when the drugs slowly started to dissipate into his bloodstream.

(Hello? Who's there? Can someone come get me? Clara?)

"And uh, Mom's really nice. She makes the best food and she's gonna look after you so good. We have, uhm Pogo, but he might not be around much. Our dad died recently, so Pogo's cleaning up his mess."

"Oh. What was your dad like?"

"An absolute dick. May he rest in hell. Let's not get too much into that though."

(Dave, I don't know where I am, help me-)

Diego went to get up but stopped when he saw how messy Klaus' hands were. He took out a handkerchief and started to clean them, ignoring Klaus' intense look and slight flinch.

(What do you want from me? Tell me or I'll-)

"C'mon. We should head home soon, or else will Ben will freak."

(Who are you?)

Klaus smiled, too wide to be consirdered real, and followed him.

//

They eventually reached the Hargreeves mansion. Before that, they had continued to ride in silence, but it was a lot looser than before. The medicine must be wearing off because Klaus was starting to see spots of blood in the corner of the car. He kept blinking hard, convincing himself he didn't need another dose, especially in front of Diego. Klaus hadn't known Diego for long, neither did he know much about him, but he still didn't want to seem too deranged in front of him. Gossiping about how a nurse reacted to Klaus freaking out was one thing, and proving that Klaus was, in fact, constantly freaking out was another.

(In the back of his mind, he remembered Clara's tearful words, "be different, okay Klaus? If you cry or anything like that, they'll send you back.")

Diego stopped the car in front of the mansion and Klaus gaped at how large it was. Unlike the oak tree that cloaked Klaus from the world, the mansion loomed kver him, threatening and spitting on him. It was dark and uninviting but Klaus still swallowed and started to follow Diego's slow trudge to the the door.

Staring at the knocker, Diego made no move to open it and therefore neither did Klaus. He must follow the Hargreeves, like Clara said, or else they'll send him back- or worse, get the place shut down. Clara said that they were filthy rich in the news and that they could do anything to Coundan. Klaus wouldn't let that happen, and so he continued watching the door as if stories were engraved into every groove in the wood.

Finally, Diego seemed to spit out, "If- If anyone troubles you, you come to me first, you hear me?" Klaus turned to him, body feeling numb, and nodded when he saw the sheer sincerity behind Diego's eyes.

Diego knocked on the door and it was yanked open by a flustered dark skinned lady. Her hair was pushed away from her face and she was wearing a dress with a jacket, nothing like the orderly uniform of the staff at Coundan.

She smiled, wide and real, and said, "Hey! Come in! We've been waiting for you!"

Klaus stepped in to the mansion and followed her to the living room, or whatever it was. Klaus was only familiar with the play areas in Coundan, his room and the small yard outside, the only areas where he wasn't being analysed by a doctor. It was nice as it was spacious, different to how cramped his room was because of limited spacing (that's what Dave told him.)

There sitting down on the sofa was the two familar faces and others he didn't know of. One was Asian, hair as dark as night, and with an excited grin on his face. He was sitting next to a girl with straight brown hair with pale skin. They seemed nice as well.

On the other side of the room was a large man, who was blocking some of the light that came in from the window. He had a stern facial expression and so Klaus moved his eyes quickly to the kid that was settled on the bar table. He looked at Klaus with the same analytical look as his physiatrists and doctors who tried to piece him bit from bit, to understand his past and future. Klaus felt his skin shudder and stared at his toes that squeezed the carpet underneath.

Diego spoke, "This is Klaus."

The Asian man grinned and kept up to embrace Klaus in his arms. He stiffened and the man backed away. "You doing okay? You look a bit pale."

"Yeah, it's just... Do I know you?"

The man frowned, hands tightening into fists and he said, "It's me, Ben remember? I met you in the visitor room, with Vanya?" Klaus trailed his eyes over to the mousy looking women, who also seemed confused.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry." Klaus cursed how drowsy the pills made him feel and plastered on a smile for them. Ben (make sure to remember, dont forget, dont forget-) stepped back and let Vanya also embrace him with a hug.

This time Klaus told himself not flinch, letting worms momentarily shift over his skin.

"No suitcase?"

"No."

"Oh."

They stayed in silence for a beat too long before the dark skinned lady from before jumped in.

"Hey Klaus! I'm Allison."

"Hi. I really like your dress." Allison laughed ,giving a little twirl, making the fabric swish around her in a really pretty way, but made no moment to approach him, which he was thankful for. The way the others touched him disgusted him and made him feel like he was buried deep, deep down, with no coffin but with too many maggots that ate his skin.

(Dave? I'm scared, I want to go back home.)

The enormous guy gave him a gruff smile, waving a hand, "I'm Luther. This is Five. "

Klaus tried to send Five a smile but he felt a gaze needle its way through his back. He tried to ignore it but the stare seemed to burn and he felt his neck start sweating. Klaus looked around, head turning frantically, trying to look for the person staring at him. He could feel it, the gaze having a heavy weight and in that moment it didn't matter how many pills Klaus had taken, because that person was coming for him, threatening and Klaus could already feel the bloody spit hitting his face-

"You okay?" Klaus was yanked out of his paranoia by the woman- Vanya's- concerned voice. She held onto his arm, and oh god- those maggots were back. He tanked his arm back into his own ribs and breathed out,

"Yeah. Can I go to my room?"

Ben nodded and was the first to guide Klaus to his room, leaving the others to discuss about hoe much of a freakshow Klaus was being. He tried to make conversation on the journey but it fell flat as Klaus dug his nails into his forearms, grounding himself to reality. He could feel someone start to breathe down his neck, heavy and damp.

(Remember, don't forget, dont forget-)

Before Klaus knew it, they reached a large wooden door. Ben smiled and opened it.

It was clean, no dirt and it had some decorations to it, like the painting on the wall and the mirror hanging across from the bed. The bed was large and had thick blankets on it, unlike the small, raggedy bed back in Coundan. Klaus stepped into the room and just stared out of the window for a while, toes clenching into the carpet.

"You can decorate it how you want, Klaus," Ben grinned at him, large and content, "You're back now- with us, with your family."

Klaus tried to feign a smile back and Ben started to tell him how someone will get him for dinner.

Ben left and Klaus collapsed onto the bed. Even though it was so comfortable, each joint melting inches into the mattress, Klaus felt so foreign. He was used to his small bed that he and Dave sat on alot at night, (even when Dave wasn't supposed to be there). He missed his friend's warmth, unlike the cold atmosphere of the mansion. Klaus missed the crappy vanilla ice cream that he would often smear into Clara's hair, he missed the shade of carpet in the play area, and he missed Dave.

He missed Dave telling him that the man forming and blinking blood onto the white blanket wasn't real.

(one, two, three, four-)

Klaus turned over into the pillow and punished himself for crying over something his friends would have been thankful for.

 


	8. whatever makes you happy (you're so special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klaus and allison talk, and she tries to atone for her sins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - description of self harm scars
> 
> also iwas doing this painting of klaus in the bus scene, and the way i painted his eyes made me think of a fic idea where klaus gets blinded in vietnam by a gas attack, comes back from vietnam, dips, the apocolypse is averted and the others try to find him down

“Well, he’s definitely a nutcase.” 

“Five!” Allison gasped out and Diego growled at Five’s rude comment, but Five just wandered around the bar to get a drink. He hastily drank down the amber liquid and Luther snarked, 

“I don’t know guys, he was being pretty weird.” Five nodded. When he had teleported into that desolate and empty environment, he had stumbled on to his siblings bodies and not once had he seen the spindly figure of Klaus. But for some reason, the way Klaus looked around, with eyes dark and clouded over as if he was in  a different world to the rest of them, reminded Five of the faces of his dead siblings- unmoving and hollow. He suppressed a shiver. 

“What if Dad was right and Klaus does something?” Luther said, running a nail across his chin. 

“Like what?” Diego said, a grimace on his face, “Have a staring contest with the wall? He’s not going to rip your face off, Luther,” Diego looked at Five, hard, “And he’s not going to start the apocalypse.” Five bristled at the mention of doomsday. It wasn’t anything to be joking about, he seethed internally. His siblings didn’t survive in that toxic wasteland for decades and neither did they have to bury countless bodies. 

Ben nodded, face absolute. “We should be helping him, you guys. He’s lived over a decade in a mental health hospital.”

Diego joined in, “he’s never had proper ice cream before! All we need to do is watch over him, give him pills and treat him right. Not,” he shot Luther a seething look, “like a lunatic.” 

“Pills?”

Diego nodded, reaching over to the chair where he had dropped a bag. He handed it over to Vanya, who had asked. Her hand trembled slightly as she saw the large array of pill bottles, all different sizes. It reminded her of her own medication, forced won her throat by Reginald, and slowly wondered to herself, _what if these pills are like mine?_ She reached into the bag to take out the note which was written in a scrawled handwriting. 

Outloud, she read, “This is the schedule for Klaus’s medication and this is my number in case you need me,” She read out the list of medication and felt a slight pity for her brother She only had to take one pill, once a day, which she often pushed depending on how anxious she was feeling. 

“Please ensure that you check his mouth and hands afterwards, sometimes he has a habit of refusing to take them.A lot of the medication’s side effects are concentration problems, so please don’t push him for a response after taking them.” Vanya finished reading. Dave seemed sweet to care for her brother like that, a constant thrum. 

“Who wrote that?” Luther asked. 

“Dave,” Ben replied, reading the back of one of the bottles, “He’s a counsellor there. They seem like good friends.”  They sat in silence for a while, awkward and disjointed in the same way before the funeral. It seemed that Klaus’ presence didn’t mend the fractured bond left by Reginald, Ben thought. Diego sneered at Luther one last time before leaving the room, texting on his phone. Similarly, Allison left with a quick, “I’m gonna get some clothes for Klaus!” and Luther followed her. Ben sighed, body loosening, and Vanya rubbed his back in sympathy.

 He felt envious of Dave, but every single time jealousy reared its head, he reminded to himself how he had only known Klaus for a few hours at most. Even though Klaus was in close vicinity now, the Horror still yearned to take him into his arms and comfort him, but Ben told himself to keep his distance whilst he learned his brother’s triggers. 

They waited for Mom to call for dinner, in silence and both deep in their own thoughts. 

 

//

 

Allison knocked on Klaus’ revamped door with a pile of clothes in her arms, scoffing light-heartedly at Diego’s attempt at covering the cracks in the wood of the door. It took a long while to take the boards down on the door and, whilst Allison waited for a response from Klaus, she thought about how it reminded her of how hard Reginald worked to keep Klaus a secret. He forced her to rumour hers siblings and herself- and although she had no recollection of it, she felt an incredible guilt twist in her lungs. Moments like these and audition scandals and losing Claire reaffirmed how evil her power was. But, every time she used it, Allison still heard Reginald’s crowing voice in the back of her head, stating how godly Rumouring was. 

(Well done child, I am proud, those words only echoed in her dreams lately)

No response from Klaus and Allison started to worry. What if he hurt himself or ran away? She said loudly, “I’m coming in!” and twisted the doorknob open. The room was the same as when Diego helped refurbish it (and by that, she meant getting rid of all the dust and any traces of evidence that Klaus could have been a superhero). The blanket was a bit rumpled, but Klaus made no movement to move things to speculate them- he just sat by the window sill, watching the cars drive past the Hargreeve’s mansion gates. He sat still, one knee tucked into his chest and the other dragged against the carpet,  as if he hadn’t even heard Allison’s voice or footsteps.

Klaus really was stuck in his own world, most of the time, it seemed. Somehow, him just sitting there, watching the real world, made Allison swallow. It felt like Klaus was being kept prisoner no matter where he went- to his childhood home or to his actual home. 

(She wasn’t sure if Klaus minded being shackled down, to be honest)

“Hey Klaus!” Klaus jolted back, turning to her and oh god, those _eyes._ The hazy shade of green was familiar, like a face in a dream, but it was still different. It was supposed to be bright and energetic but instead they seemed hollowed out, making no difference if someone scooped out his eyeballs or not.  

Allison set down her pile of clothes and ushered out, “I bought some clothes for you. These are mine, but I thought they would look good on you.” He walked over to inspect the pile of clothing, but, again, made no move to pick them up or voice his opinion. 

She picked up a dress that was on the top of the pile. It was a nice burgundy shade with small black decorations. She held it out to Klaus and said, “Try it on!” He obliged with no objections, and it felt like Allison had rumoured someone with how robotically he was moving. Before he could take off his hospital shirt, she put a hand on his arm. 

“If you don’t want to wear them, you don’t have to.” He shook his head, side to side like a child, but resumed taking off his shirt. Allison noticed how his ribcage was even bonier than the dainty bones in his hands. They protruded out, making him look even more sickly. She tried not to comment on the scars on his body, some clean white lines and others fissures on his skin. They gathered in bulk and looked unnatural, not bending with his movement and glinting in the light. Allison glanced at his face and Klaus looked apathetic, like he changed in front of others often. Eventually he kicked off his trouser scrubs and he slithered on the dress. 

“Ah! It looks so cute!” Allison giggled and clapped her hands, her heart warming when she saw how Klaus cracked a smile. He twirled around and the dress settled right below his calf muscles. 

 

“Yeah. I like it,” he seemed to murmur out, entranced in the way how he fabric gleamed in the sunlight like waves in the sea. Allison encouraged him to rifle through her clothes and together they sorted through the clothing, Klaus opening up more with each garment that was thrown on, through the insistence of Allison. 

Half an hour later, Klaus was giving out chuckles, still a bit distracted, but let Allison’s hands skim his thin shoulders when she wrapped a pink boa around them. He played with the feathers, pulling some out.

“I wish the others would do this.” She murmured, letting her hands finger the lace of a blouse.

“Others?” 

“Yeah, Diego, Luther and Ben. Vanya used to do it, when we were younger, but I knew she liked hanging out with Five more. Five didn’t even look in my direction when I would ask if I could paint his nails.” 

“Oh. Why?” He said it in such an aloof way that only then did Allison remember how he wasn’t exposed to gender roles. 

“Don’t know,” She lied, “they liked fighting more.” Klaus nodded and Allison felt a swell of affection rise in her. He was so naive, innocent from the world, that she wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and hide him or take him around the world, first class- she couldn’t decide. 

“Klaus,” Allison threaded their fingers together, glad that he was slowly getting accustomed to touch, “Whatever I’ve done to you, you need to know I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you- or our family in any way. He made me do it, but I’ll still carry the burden of what he’s done to you forever.” She ended up whispering, to avoid her voice from cracking (because when it did she knew she would start crying like a baby). Klaus smiled in the same way Mom did, large and a bit too plastic around the corners. 

“But Allison,” Klaus said, “I’ve never met you before.” 

Allison tried to smile back but felt tears well in her eyes. “I know,” she breathed out, “I know.” 

 


	9. bust your kneecaps!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus had dinner with the hargreeves for the first time, and like usual, it gets ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw panic attack n medication intake

Hand in hand, Allison helped lead Klaus down the winding stairs to the kitchen, a few minutes after Mom had called for dinner. With each step, the back of Klaus' black midi skirt brushed against the back of his thighs, right between the thin skin between the ending of his thigh and the beginning of his calf. It was pleasant, unlike the stiff movement of his usual scrubs. The sweater Allison had given him was a dark purple colour; maybe Allison had realised that Klaus had a natural inclination towards dark colours, especially after being locked in white for so long.

(He still wasn't sure how long it has been since he had been outside, how long it has been since he was diagnosed as unfit for society or how long it had been since his last birthday. Time was a fickle concept.)

Blearily, Klaus realised that Allison had seated him onto a chair at the dining table with a soft smile. She wandered off to her chair, next to the blonde man- Luther? Klaus was unsure. He looked around, like a child, and noticed that he was sitting next to Ben (that is his name, right?) And on his left side was Diego (the ice cream man!), who gave the small boy a suspicious look, from across the table. Klaus couldn't remember what the boy's name was and made no move to ask for it again either.

(After seeing how clinically the boy assessed Klaus, like bacteria under a microscope, it was clear that he disliked Klaus. Klaus wasn't sure why; it seemed nowadays he was confused on everything.)

"Hello, Klaus." The woman came up behind him and gave him a smile, red lips framing her perfect teeth. Although she was beautiful, with her dress flared out and white gloves adorning her hands, her eyes were hazy in a way hat reminded Klaus of his own, when he took his medication.

Klaus offered a small quirk of his lips, glancing at Vanya (V for Violin, he echoed) when she said, "that's your mom."

But they didn't look anything alike. Oh well.

(Dave once commented how Klaus chose to be confused, he chose to be inferior and to be pushed back into corners, not because he just was. A while later, Klaus thought that maybe he was right.)

(Observation can become entertainment, he had read in a book once.)

He looked down and the woman had handed him a spork, just like the ones given to him in the facility. Klaus took it and smiled at her.

(He's been smiling a lot today, Klaus thought, it was probably near his dose.)

The woman presented him with a plate full of food; of mash, with an actual alluring scent not of staleness, of meat that was cut in pieces, not slightly burnt, and vegetables. After everyone else got their meal, he picked up his spork and began eating.

Instantly, flavour exploded in his mouth, like when he saw a whale burst water out of its face on one of the old TVs back home. It was slightly salty, not overcooked or burnt and was rich with spices. The mash potatoes melted on his tongue easily and the vegetables crunched in his mouth, a juxtaposition with how easily his spork glided into the meat. Klaus grinned and shoved the food in his mouth, before it was all gone, before someone took it away or stole it away. Maybe Clara or one of the shadows-

When he peeked up, his family were staring at him, some with disgust and others with clear amusement, and not in the unkind. Maybe something that resembled affection.

("how can you fall in love with someone so fast, Clara?" Klaus had asked once when she was gossiping about her boyfriend outside the facility. She replied with a shrug and a , "it just happens. Like a lightning bolt or something. You think, "where have they been all my life?" She laughed when she said that and Klaus joined in.)

"Gross." The boy stated and Klaus, ashamed, rubbed the back of his hand across his stained mouth. He stared at a groove within the mahogany wood, trying to think of a response. How could Klaus convince the boy that he wasn't as bad as he thought?

He pondered on it for a moment, before deciding on the _extremely_ flexible response of, "okay."

Klaus looked up, meaning to say it (and hopefully not as weakly as he was repeating in his head), when his cutlery clattered to the table.

Standing behind the boy was a girl, maybe the same age as Klaus or as the boy, Klaus wasn't definite. Her face, although seeming to be tanned, was sickly with an ashen tint, blood splatters decorating her innocent face like ornaments. Her eyes were wide, constant, and were red with tears, over flowing like a pipe that had been leaking for years. She cried, verging on sobbing, and when Klaus trailed his eyes down her white dress, he spotted three gunshot wounds to the neck, sternum and stomach.

A punishment from something greater.

And she was standing behind the boy.

A threat.

Shaking, Klaus realised that the boy would do the same to him at any moment, in his sleep or right now. He could take out a gun noe or maybe a knife and stab Klaus straight through the throat-

(I'm spiralling, down, down, down-)

A hand clutched his and he jumped back, water splashing across hid plate with the force of his movement. He realised he was hyperventilating, hand clutched around his throat in protection and the other clamped around his mouth. Klaus ran away from the table and the skirt, that once felt like a blessing, seemed like a dead weight to Klaus right now. The sweater was constricting around Klaus' skin, loose threads digging into each fold of his skin

(I'm dying, he thought, I'm going to become one of them)

Distantly, someone was asking him what was wrong but all Klaus could see was black as he chanted, over and over, "my medication, my medication, my medi-"

He could feel himself scramble back, pushing himself against the wall and the furniture, trying to hide away from the shadows that were following him. Klaus could see how their nails turned into claws and how smooth skin quickly became contaminated with blood.

Just when Klaus thought he constant crying or whispering pleas would turn into screams, a hand shoved through the gap and offered up his medication. He grabbed it, hands shaking badly, and forced them down his throat.

As always, it was bitter and it burned the lining of his throat, but it helped. It always helped when the shadows became people and the people became shadows.

Klaus resisted a gag, because that gag would turn into vomit, and let himself be pushed out by the same hands that gave him medicine.

The drugs dissolved into his bloodstream, body compliant after nearly over a decade of doctors experimenting with his medicine. 

The world started to become blurry again, a hidden pleasure that he was familiar with, but even as Klaus began to drift, the and that was running through his hair was a constant.

"It's okay," Ben murmured, his own breath hitching "everything is okay, Klaus."


	10. human leech (parasite, wiggling around)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secrets are revealed

Ben clenched his fist, running his nail over Klaus' plain pillow case. It was devastating watching Klaus spiral into something so damaging, especially as it started off slow, almost undetectable.

Ben remembered feeling uneasy when Klaus paused when staring at Five and then suddenly his cutlery was clattering onto the table, his cup had tilted over and Klaus had ran away in hysterics. Like an animal, Klaus had shoved himself in the space between the wall and the bookshelf, shaking and a fist balled to his mouth in an attempt to stop his hyperventilation, but only making it worse. Ben cringed at the sound of Klaus' raggedy breathing, as if every breath in tore nails into his lungs and if every breath out burnt his airways. His eyes were blank, an eerie feeling came over Ben as he remembered how, desire Klaus' tear tainted cheeks, his eyes were hollow, misty with no light. Klaus had nearly gagged on his medication that he shoved down his throat and the sound of his stomach tumbling resonated in Ben's mind.

His brother was hurting so badly and Ben had no idea how to help.

Maybe the best decision was to send Klaus back to Coundan. They had the right facilities like staffing and medication, unlike the Academy which only had his mother, who wasn't adept at mental health (who knew that a robot scientifically engineered to give abused children basic needs wouldn't understand complex emotions?), and a restricted understanding, one which only spawned off google searches late at night.

Ben felt tears well up in his eyes. He didn't want to give up his brother, or abandon him like Reginald did- but if it truly helped Klaus not hurt himself, then Ben would sacrifice his happiness.

(Within him, the Horror wept, tears mixing with congealed blood. His stomach twisted, horrible and painful- almost like revenge)

Klaus was sleeping in his bed. It seemed that whatever you gave him or whatever conversation you initated he complied. Other than that, Klaus slept, alone and drugged up.

Across from him, Five sat in a armchair, body stone and reserved. His fingers were intertwined and he had a furrow in his brow as he observed Klaus carefully. Ben wanted to be mad at Five, like the Horror was, but the fact that Klaus had reacted so badly at Five's annoying comment of "ew" seemed to further create that wedge in Ben's mind whether Klaus should go back to Coundan.

"We should tell him."

Ben startled, the silence broken by Five, "tell him what?"

"That his delusions are ghosts."

Ben reeled back. On one hand he could see how helpful that could be. It would help Klaus realise that he fitted in with society, oddly enough. He wouldn't be known as "the crazy schizo freak that sees corpses" but instead "the medium who can contact the dead."

(The Horror tightened at the word "Seance", remembering Reginald and his abandonment of Klaus. A beautiful nickname for Reginald's biggest failure.)

But Ben knew that deep down, felling Klaus that his biggest fear was real would only lead to disaster.

"No. Imagine being told that the corpses following you around are actually real people," Five stayed silent.

"Also, if he was told, then he would probably want to get off the drugs to help him with his powers. But, like, who wants to see bloody mangled corpses harassing you? I don't think we should."

Five didn't say anything, brewing his thoughts in his mind.

A bear later, a groan escaped Klaus' cracked lips. Ben had expected Klaus to wake up screaming but instead his eyelids fluttered and he stared at the ceiling for a bit. His gaze trailed over to Ben and he offered a shaky smile, different to how blank he looked in his sleep.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Ben asked.

" 'm okay." Klaus reassured, he sat up, slowly because of Ben's prodding hands. He stretched, his back cracking in a way that made Ben flinch. He glanced out the window, once, twice and eventually looked away.

(What is it with the window? Does he want to go outside?)

"I'm hungry. Can we eat?" Ben was surprised, because this was the first time Klaus had made his needs clear, but nodded. Klaus smiled, glancing at Five and hid smile stretched, despite how badly Five had been treating Klaus.

Klaus glanced at his toes before asking, "I feel dirty. Can I have a bath?"

Ben nodded. As Five left because it seemed whatever business he came for was resolved, Ben looked around Klaus' wardrobe, that Allison had kindly sorted with clothes and towels and such.

When Ben looked over his shoulder, Klaus was sat at the windowsill again. His body was scrunched in on itself, like a paper ball, disregarded, but his face was serene. He was gazing out the window, clearly looking for (at?) something.

"Why do you look out the window so much?" Ben felt a bit intrusive, fingering the edge of Klaus' towel.

"They're there." His voice was quiet, a whispered drawl as if he was still distracted. Ben quickly walked over. Was someone stalking Klaus? Who was there? Should he tell Diego-

But when Ben peered out Klaus' window, there was no one. The gates to the mansion was still closed, the garden was still maintained and Diego's car was still empty.

Desolate.

Swallowing, Ben asked cautiously, "who?"

"Someone," Klaus blearily looked at Ben before getting the towel off his hands, "I haven't decided yet."

//

Klaus awkwardly dipped into the lukewarm bath water, which wasn't boiling nor icy thanks to Ben's insistence to check. It relaxed his muscles but he still felt a bit strange. Coundan had old rackety showers, ones where you couldn't quite predict the temperature until you stepped into the water. The door had to also be opened slightly.

And the fact that no one was with Klaus right noe, no one was peering at him to make sure he wasn't doing anything dangerous or harmful, which was strange.

The nurses nevee minded seeing his naked body, and after a while (hours, months, years? How long has it been? How long-) Klaus became desensitised to it.

(Because no matter where he went, and even if he still took too many drugs deemed healthy, Klaus always had an incline that someone was there with him, constantly, fazing in and out of reality. Like Dave said, it's his own mind playing tricks.)

Klaus felt his heart squeeze at the mere inner mention of Dave. He thought of the piece of paper that Dave had hurriedly pressed into hid hand, before Diego could notice. It had his personal phone number in and Klaus had carefully folded it up (one, two, three, four-) before shoving it in the corner between the wall and the dresser, beside his bed.

Undetectable, unless someone was clearly rifling through Klaus's things.

The digits resonated in Klaus' mind and he missed Dave so much. Even though he was getting closer to his siblings, Ben wasa worrier it seemed and Allison was really cool (reminding him of Clara), Klaus wanted to go back to Dave.

(They promised Dave could come over. Where is Dave? Where?)

The water pulled Klaus in, inch by inch until his whole body was submerged in the bathtub. The soothing heat of the water was nice but the slight burning of his lungs as he held his breath was nicer. He smiled, serene.

And then a flash of a disdained face flashed through his mind, unnoticeable but still there. White hair, white beard and white eyelashes that framed cold stone eyes. The face was pulled into a frown and then a slight smirk, as if whatever he was looking at was irrelevant, something that deserved to be at the bottom of his shoe.

"You are better off dead."

Dead.Dead. Dead.

And then- blood splatters, a strangled scream and a blue tinge-

Klaus bolted up, heaving for air. His hands shook as he cradled his face, convincing himself that he was awake and that he wasn't dreaming.

(But if it was a nightmare it would have been easier to dismiss by Dave's sweet words.

(No, Klaus thought, sobbing into the water, Dave can never know)

(No one can.)

//

The towel was a nice weight around Klaus' shoulders as he clambered down the stairs to the kitchen for some food. He had been stifling his cries for a while it seemed because he was jolted back into his weird concept of time by the rumbling of his stomach.

He went to go into the kitchen, the light nearly touching his face, when he heard a deep voice.

(Luther?)

(Number One.)

(Where did that come from?)

"The medicine, they're drugs that inhibit his powers. If we hide them or say we ran out-"

"There is no way we're doing that!" Diego (two,two,two) growled. "Klaus doesn't want to see fucking corpses around him. I wouldn't would you?"

Corpses? Klaus felt himself pale but forced himself to hush his breathing.

"Yeah," the minute voice of Vanya rang, (seven?) "God knows what would happen if he realised that his hallucinations are actually real or that he has powers."

Klaus felt the blood his ears bang like a war cry, circulating around his throat and squeezing. His hallucinations -his torment and sins- were real. They were actual people with actual lives and - oh god, they were _real_.

He glanced around, and there, at the end of the corridor, he saw a man with his limbs amputated. He was crawling towards Klaus, crying, screaming for help for mercy and-

He was coming for Klaus. _They all were._

Klaus wasn't crazy.

He was normal.

Normal?

All these years, all these hours crying and strapped to a gurney, all those moments where he cherished the little things that his siblings experienced every single day-

All of it _wasted_ , destroyed and transformed into a living nightmare.

(What did I do wrong? Tell me, Regin-)

(Who?)

The air felt tainted, ruined, and Klaus quietly fled to his room, hunger forgotten. He felt tears leak but made no notice as he shoved his wardrobe in front of his door and pushed his bed back.

His hands shook as he cradled the paper that had Dave's number.

 


	11. burn it down (always wanted me to be a good kid)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ft. Escape plans that only work in movies

Breathing fast, Klaus looked at the digits, the scrawled lines dissolving and deforming in his mind as if water had been poured on them.

(One, two, three, four- zero?)

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to run away, far, far away and contact Dave somehow, away from his siblings. On the other hand, Klaus felt like he should act as if he hadn't heard and prod the siblings for answers or the mansion for answers, any answers, almost like a spy. He could fake a smile because he has been for a very long time. He needed to do something because they were- they were-

Going to kill him.

(The thought felt like a blade went straight through his neck, severing his spine with blood spurting out)

(All I wanted was to be-)

(Dave?)

(The same blood that that woman in the corner is vomiting out. Is she real? Excuse me, are you real? Dave, is she real-?)

(I don't want to be like them, I don't want to be a corpse screaming for help, I don't want to be dead-)

His chest stuttered, the thought causing his lungs to malfunction.

Yes, he thought, rifling through his drawers for money, I need to get away.

//

At around midnight, Klaus paused with his tying of bedsheets when he heard Ben ask through the door, "Klaus? You okay? I brought food, its pretty late and you didn't come down earlier." Klaus paused, glancing at his still rumbling stomach before shaking his head to himself.

(one, two, three- five?)

"No thanks!" Klaus called back, trying to maintain the shakiness of his voice, "Grace already gave me food awhile ago!"

"Oh..uh okay. What you doing im there?"

"Just getting used to my room." Klaus swallowed and said in his most weak voice (which wasn't that hard right now) "I just want to spend some alone time you know? Especially after..." Klaus trailed off suggestively, hoping Ben would get the hint.

"Oh! Yeah! I totally get it, don't worry."

"Thanks."

(You're better off dead.)

"Well, you'll know where I'll be, haha." Ben gave an awkward laugh before footsteps resonated outside the corridor, signalling his departure. Klaus sighed in relief.

His hands shook as he finally tied the last of the bedsheets that Allison had left stacked in the bottom of the wardrobe. Diego would probably be out, he has been for a while. Klaus still wasn't sure what any of the Hargreeves did as jobs, and maybe that should have been the first sign that they couldn't be trusted. He knew that Vanya played the violin and would probably be at her house right now and that Ben would be going to sleep around now, something about how his stomach medication kicked in right around now if he took them during supper. Luther liked to read in the library, late at night, across the mansion and Allison would be asleep, used to a routine.

(Why couldn't they be my family? I am unlucky, unlucky, unlucky-)

It's now or never.

Klaus took a deep breath before he yanked his windows open hard. They nearly slammed against the bricks outside his room and instantly cold air smacked into Klaus, making him grit his teeth. He looked down; it was quite a drop but if he got down onto the grassy area then he'd be fine. He tied a rope around his waist, already attached to the leg of his bed frame, and climbed out if the window.

It seemed that when it came to actual things that could endanger his life, adrenaline could do a hell of a lot to one's confidence in scaling down a window from a second storey building. His feet hit against the bricks and Klaus prayed that no one heard. Eventually he landed on the soft patch of grass he was aiming for.

One obstacle over, and the next comes, Klaus thought as he hid behind an oak tree (not like the one in the park, this one was stern and cold in a way Klaus felt a sense of familiarity towards). He eyed the gates of the Harhreeves mansion which were probably locked.

Klaus really didn't want to scale across those spikes, he could already feel the twinges in his calfs. He was dreading it but when he walked towards the gate and gentle pushed on it, it crawled open with a creek.

I'll be damned, Klaus thought, giddily.

(Cursed, cursed, cursed-)

He ran out of the Hargreeves mansion, not even sure where he was going to but then he remembered seeing a payphone box by the park he went to with Diego. With the few cents that he had clutched in his hand that he found deep in his dresser, Klaus could make a phone call to Dave, to come help and to set them free.

(All I wanted was to be-)

//

After a while of running (what time is it? How old am I? How long have I been trapped-?), Klaus's weak legs started to burn. Adrenaline and sheer fear could only do so much when you've barely done any physical work your whole life (but then Klaus could see flashes of cameras, and a tomb, and fighting so hard his bones ached-)

  
He slowed down to a jog and eventually a walk. He spotted the same small corner shop that the park had near by and smiled to himself. Turning around the corner, Klaus spotted the payphone and nearly cried in relief.

Klaus felt so free. He wasn't trapped in a house with strangers nor was he locked to a facilitg, even though they gave him drugs that eased the ghosts away. (It was weird calling them ghosts when all his life they've been named dillusions and mere hallucinations of his psyche.)

The light of the payphone box was dingy and mellow, but offered something that warded away the darkness and the distinct screeches in his mind (in real life?). Looking around, Klaus spotted the old oak tree, but even it was casted in darkness, embraced it like a blanket as it slept. Klaus swallowed, knowing now that he was truly alone. No cameras in the facility watching over him, or nurses constantly monitoring him, or his family's skeptical look. Only little ghosties that shifted and deformed the darkness like a Van Gogh painting that Klaus had seen on the background of Ben's phone once.

(Ben, I'm so-)

(Sorry)

Klaus gulped, his hand clenching around the thin metal of the few cents he could rustle up. He read the instructions on the phone box slowly, trying to concentrate on the words but his head ached and his vision blurred. He would have had twice of his dose by now.

Klaus shook his head and put the money in, letting it clang. He pulled out the piece of paper from his (Ben's?) hoodie pockets. Klaus was breathing heavily, headache shifting to the front of his eyes as the phone let out monotone beeps that vibrated in Klaus's mind.

(All I wanted was to be-)

"Hello? Mrs Smiths, if this is you, I've told you that Cindy wasn't the one that scratched up your sofa-"

"Dave," Klaus whispered out.

(Human.)

"Help me."

**Author's Note:**

> holidays r here, n i hop eim motivated enough to writie this lol . if u want, you can write some ideas about waht you expect or want to see from this fic? im open to everything (just not smut lol) (or incest)


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